OK. This is ridiculous! In this day and age, allowing birds to air-deliver biodumps to my vehicles with no recourse is simply inexcusable! In my current configuration, I keep vehicles in front of the garage, parked in an orderly fashion, cool in the shade provided by a gracefully branched tree. Each vehicle in the lineup gets increasing numbers of ornithopoops as their location approaches the tree trunk. The unlucky last car gets blasted by such a volume of gestational byproduct that it is often necessary to clean the windshield thoroughly before driving!
I have conducted interviews of work colleagues, performed exhaustive research [read Googled] and will be implementing various solutions until I find one that is effective. I refuse to be subject to these lovely, chirping divebombers! Here I stand! Stay tuned.